I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
