i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
