btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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