I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
