"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize