I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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