the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
