but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
