the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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