I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
