Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
