I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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