i need an iv and a liver transplant
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
