Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
