Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
