You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize