My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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