the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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