She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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