it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
