I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
