What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
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I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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