We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
