he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
