We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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