I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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