I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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