Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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