to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
