The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
