i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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