There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
