You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
