I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
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