am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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