I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
