Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
