dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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