It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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