this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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