Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
