Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
