even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
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My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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