uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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