think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize