He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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