I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Congratulations! We have a period
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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