IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
