wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
