S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
