we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just blew my weed a kiss
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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