Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
