nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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