The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
