would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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