woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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