im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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