Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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