You made me cry and you don't even care
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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