Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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