Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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