yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
