don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just want nice things and good sex
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
