somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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