To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
