Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Houston, we have a squirter
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
