All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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