ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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