PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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