Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
