oh god the rape fog is back!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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