oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
